Part of the beauty of humankind is how imperfect we all actually are. Think of the level of naivety, false hopes, wrong assumptions and beliefs we all swear by, day by day, without questioning them twice. How on earth can we be so oblivious?
So this post serves as a tribute to all the headless selves who believe the craziest conspiracies, or things adults mockingly told us when we were little, or stuff we read on fishy forums. Inspired by a seemingly simple question posed on r/AskReddit “What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard someone say?” it offers a glimpse into the absurd wonderland of arguments that leave our mouths, making others cringe in return. Like, genuinely asking a flight attendant if you could open a window because it’s feeling really hot.
Work at a hotel. Guest asked why there was no fourth of July parade or any fireworks in town. We were in Australia.
When I was like 13 I told my friend that there was such a thing as a Liger. They had successfully mated a lion and a tiger. His response “you idiot, tigers ARE female lions”
We took the argument to his mother to settle it. She took his side
some girl once told me that it was impossible for me to be vietnamese bc vietnam was a war and not a country. this happened while in college smh
A few years ago leading up to the great American eclipse a coworker overheard us discussing it and said “Y’all don’t actually believe in that [stuff] do you?” I figured he misunderstood whatever we were talking about and thought we were talking about mysticism or something regarding the eclipse but no he followed up with “Don’t you know if the moon went into the sun it would melt, that’s why the eclipse can’t be real.”
I genuinely felt like humanity should probably start over from scratch after that.
“It’s been proven that if you dream about falling and hit the ground in your dream you will die in your sleep.”
Yeah? If someone dies in their sleep, how do you know what they were dreaming?
A girl in my class asked why do farms exist if she gets her food from the supermarket.The teacher had such a disappointed face and everyone looked at her and wondered how did she pass the all the way through the 8th grade
My sister panicked whilst on a plane and asked if she could open a window as she was feeling really hot – the guy in the seats across from her lost it, it made his day
Friend shared that he thought women were like chickens, one day a month we would sit on a toilet all day and lay an egg
My friend once told me he wasn’t too concerned about using birth control because everyone knows the girl can only get pregnant if they both come at the same time. His gf was pregnant 3 months later.
That you can’t walk to the front of a plane because its moving faster than you can walk. This was a teacher
Yall really gonna make me remember the time my coworker thought willy Wonka was a real person and wondered how much money he was making on Nerds and Gobstoppers
22-year-old girlfriend, after having walked under some street lamps: “I just discovered that we have 2 shadows. I think the other one is only visible at night.”
I explained what shadows are and how they’re dependent on the light source. There was visible brain processing strain on her face.
“Wait is it just me or do meteors always land in craters” said the smartest guy in my class
“China is it’s own continent because the people who live there are called ‘Chinese’.” “… Uh… and we are Oklahomans. Did I miss the memo where we became a continent?”
A customer came in today and apparently had a an excuse for not wearing a mask. We offered curbside pickup for their safety and the safety of others. They let us know that they work at a covid clinic, so they had “literally 0% chance of contracting it”.
I remarked that it’s odd that we associate rabbits with EGGS for Easter. I jokingly said we should make it an Easter platypus because unlike rabbits they lay eggs.
Then someone overheard this and said “wait… no, rabbits DO lay eggs.”
This turned into a two minute argument over whether or not rabbits lay eggs. And then when she finally accepted that she was wrong, she was so irritated that she asked all of her coworkers if they thought the same as her.
To the best of my knowledge she’s the only one.
I worked retail as a summer job about 17 years ago. I was putting out coffee cups with a coworker.
“Why don’t they make left handed coffee cups?”
I quietly turned one of the mugs 180 degrees without saying anything.
Last I heard she was the assistant manager of that department.
“If you could adopt a child from a third world country, which country would you choose and why?” “I would choose Alaska, because it’s really cold there.” -A member of the prom court being asked a random question on our school’s live news show that was being broadcasted out to every homeroom.
someone tried to convince me that snakes don’t have bones. I showed him some pictures of snake skeletons and he said “yeah they have ribs, not bones”
The spork is “the devil’s utensil” because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society.
Co-worker at my last job during lunch:
Him: “The moon landings obviously didn’t happen”
Me: “Thats awkward I was bouncing lasers off the mirrors we left there at Uni.” (Physics Graduate)
Him after pausing: “Theres loads of ways they could have got there, aliens could have plonked them down”
Man literally believes in aliens but not the moon landings and is a manager at a large company
‘Can’t we just exterminate all bacteria and viruses so we can’t get sick anymore?’
Literally heard someone say this in Microbiology class. MICROBIOLOGY CLASS!
“if Japanese people suffer so much from tsunamis, why don’t they hide behind the Great Wall of China?”
8th grade geography class
Someone once said.
“But I don’t want to put the bag of aquatic snails inside the fish tank, they might drown!”
That someone was me.
Past me is dumb.
My mom said her new mac was a waste of money because it didn’t have internet explorer so “how is she supposed to do anything?”
I’m a veterinarian. I once had the owner of a pregnant three legged dog ask if the puppies would be born with three legs or four.
A Canadian asking me, an Englishman, where I learnt to speak English.
We were in class and this girl was so confused at how a flight from America to Russia could be quick, because the world map shows America being at the far left and Russia on the right. The teacher said, ‘Look at the map.’ She replies, ‘Yeah, they’re so far away.’ A moment of silence. Teacher: ‘The world is round; it isn’t flat like a map.’
When I pointed out to a coworker that a person who actually was modest wouldn’t brag about how modest they are: “How would people know that I’m modest if I don’t tell them?”
“If you’re an atheist, that means you’re not allowed to use the Roman calendar because it was invented by Christians.”
watching star wars in high school with some girl says, ” when did this happen?” I said it was made in the 70s , confused on what she meant. she said ” no, the space war, when did we have a space war?” me n my buddy almost died
The moon is much better than the sun because it’s up at night illuminating while the sun is up during the day when it’s allready bright.
After watching a movie in 3D they said “that was amazing, I wish real life was in 3D too”
A colleague who saw me eating some tomatoes for lunch and made the comment “isn’t all that sugar in the tomatoes bad for you?” as she ate her McDonald’s….
You have vertigo? Isn’t vertigo that place where the planes get lost?
Oh I have one! I told my friend that I thought she may be an alcoholic and she should get some help. So she goes to a counselor. She was so proud to come and tell me that she wasn’t an alcoholic, she had a substantial abuse disorder.
The substance? Alcohol
That 2% milk and 2% milk made 4% milk. Proceed to try and prove his point by saying “if (half black friend) and I (half black) had a baby, the baby would be full black”. This guy also asked me if the Queen was the president of Canada, soo…
Wait how could they castrate a 8 year old? He wouldn’t have his balls yet! – My friend, a 18 year old male who vastly misunderstood what people meant when they say “your balls dropped”. No, I don’t know how he never noticed that he had balls before puberty.
Inlaw father is looking at the sky, pondering how NASA puts all that stuff up there without hitting the stars.
He was a teenager during the space race. You’d figure it would have come up in school.
We just shrugged and acted like we didn’t know.
Mate of mine told me Reindeer weren’t real animals. They were mythical creatures…
We live in Australia, but still.
A few years ago I got a job offer in Japan and decided to take it. Some friends from my then office threw me a farewell party. The girlfriend of one of my co-workers came along and told me that she’d always wanted to go to Japan and that her number one thing to do there would be to take a camel ride. My co-worker and I just looked at her to see if she’d explain more— maybe there was a camel cafe she’d heard about or something. But no, she just honestly thought camels were a common mode of transportation in Japan.
“Masks are for pussies” my moms friend three weeks ago who is now in intensive care.
“masks don’t work that’s why they told us not to wear them at first. they want us to wear them now because they realized the lack of oxygen will make us dumb and we’ll listen to wherever they say.”
I was actually the dumb person, sadly. I was at a friend’s house and couldn’t remember if I left the hair straightener or oven on at home and I asked my friend, “what if there’s a fire, the door’s locked so my cats won’t be able to get out!!” Yeah. I believed for at least 30 seconds that cats could open doors.
A highschool student asked if Obama was president of the world.
BTW the person that asked that question was debatably one of the dumbest students in my school.
“Mexico is the capital of China”- Some person In a crowd
“if white people are white, and black people are black, does that mean Asians are grey?”
I still don’t know the answer.
That you can get pregnant by a demon and god controls Facebooks servers which will be shut down IMMEDIATELY.